What Calculus and Physics Have I

The people around me have enough potential energy for my happiness to reach a maximum. They are good people, with honest square roots and enough entertainment contained within them to allow me to experience a better day.

So what’s the problem?

My integral! My integral is negative, it doesn’t match all their positive outputs.

Metaphor aside, I get frustrated. The little things people do as a part of their character flaws (which I do, truly understand that everyone has), honestly destroy me inside. I am incapable of sympathy when someone else fails where I succeed.

Not only that, but once a person has decided “Yeah, she’s a cool chap, we should hang sometime,” I become distant. Why? Why do I do all these things? I fail to make decisions on whether I really want to be someone’s friend instead of taking the time to experiment, say.

Conclusion

I am in a transitory state. I’m 95% sure I won’t be seeing many of these people again, so it seems I’ve just been idling along, not going to any efforts. It’s a terrible curse—I have the choice of either losing friendships now and being lonely and slightly depressed, or I make the unbreakable bonds of friendships to these people I know I could be friends with in ten, twenty, fifty years. The downfall of that option is that once I leave, I’ll just be feeling the guilt I feel when I don’t communicate because I’m Lazy.

Conclusion Part II

I’m lazy. I don’t want to make any decisions right now because everything’s going to pivot 180 degrees in about three months. Can I wait three months?

Let’s party tonight, friends, and see if I can’t fix this problem and stop thinking about it too seriously.