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The one thing about life that has been deluding me lately is everyone's fear of mistakes.
Someone close to many people I love died a few weeks ago. Although nothing is certain, someone would have to be Aristotle to convince me he didn't do it on purpose. He had many problems in his life, and I think in the end he decided he'd made too many mistakes.
My mother is a few years from the fifty-mark, and she categorizes her life as a list of mistakes. College, marriage, remarriage, children.
Now, I face a decision. I either stay at this land-locked, farm-locked university, in a department that wants me to stay and do their "research", surrounded by 99% of Kentucky's smartest students, or go to an urban city, an urban university, and risk being in a department that "shuts their doors", talking to rich kids in their polos and white cardigans.
The mistake part, right? That's where she started. Mistakes.
If I should channel my response through a 20's poet, I might say
Safe upon the solid rock the ugly houses stand:
Come and see my shining palace built upon the sand!
I don't think the mistake happens when you make the wrong choice. The mistake happens when you don't know how to deal with it, and you let it consume you to the point of shame and regret.
The man and the train: face your chosen circumstance, make the hard decision, and let yourself be happy. You're not the only one who chose the wrong life for yourself. A car is not a total reinvention, but it's a start.
The woman and the computer: your fate is not who you are, and it is not decided. Yeah, you're blocked from going out, you're prevented from getting to know your aging daughters, but it will not last. The mistakes you blame let you learn, so learn. Relax, and do the best you can.
The first-person narrative: make your mistake.
Another question: Is life a comedy or a tragedy? Pessimism or cynicism?
Today the sun is out shining, but the wind and the cold air cut my skin.
Someone close to many people I love died a few weeks ago. Although nothing is certain, someone would have to be Aristotle to convince me he didn't do it on purpose. He had many problems in his life, and I think in the end he decided he'd made too many mistakes.
My mother is a few years from the fifty-mark, and she categorizes her life as a list of mistakes. College, marriage, remarriage, children.
Now, I face a decision. I either stay at this land-locked, farm-locked university, in a department that wants me to stay and do their "research", surrounded by 99% of Kentucky's smartest students, or go to an urban city, an urban university, and risk being in a department that "shuts their doors", talking to rich kids in their polos and white cardigans.
The mistake part, right? That's where she started. Mistakes.
If I should channel my response through a 20's poet, I might say
Safe upon the solid rock the ugly houses stand:
Come and see my shining palace built upon the sand!
I don't think the mistake happens when you make the wrong choice. The mistake happens when you don't know how to deal with it, and you let it consume you to the point of shame and regret.
The man and the train: face your chosen circumstance, make the hard decision, and let yourself be happy. You're not the only one who chose the wrong life for yourself. A car is not a total reinvention, but it's a start.
The woman and the computer: your fate is not who you are, and it is not decided. Yeah, you're blocked from going out, you're prevented from getting to know your aging daughters, but it will not last. The mistakes you blame let you learn, so learn. Relax, and do the best you can.
The first-person narrative: make your mistake.
Another question: Is life a comedy or a tragedy? Pessimism or cynicism?
Today the sun is out shining, but the wind and the cold air cut my skin.
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ReplyDeleteI would reread this a thousand times just to see the phrase "fi-fighting".
ReplyDeleteAnd are you an English major. If not, what's up with the whole Edna Millay knowledge? Who knows about that shit? not sane people.
P.ARS.
Some of it is stylistic, but most is accidental. A lot of it is just typing error as I transcribed it. And I remember specifically asking Ms.Helm that. As well as talking with her when I fell deeply in love with sin graphs.
I'm not currently an English major, it's just I really love a lot of the material we're going over in my 200, intro to lit class. Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Hemingway, and Edna St. Vincent Millay are currently my favorites.
ReplyDelete