Dear Ben Franklin

Benjamin Franklin said that nothing is certain in life but death and taxes. What he failed to mention is something that he thought was implied. You see, Benjamin Franklin lived in a slow-paced era (compared to today). In his day, it took several weeks, maybe even months, just to contact someone. His "death and taxes" rule applies to long-term living, but I have a revision for him to consider.

These days, with snide politicians and tabloid celebrities, (here it comes) nothing is certain but sex and money. These days, anything can change in an instant thanks to the internet, cell phones, text messaging, etcetera. Ben's little adage still holds true, but there are more instant truths that are the flipside of the coin which were, before, not considered.

Back in Franklin's day, money didn't necessarily mean what it does now. Money was exchanged for goods and as bribes, but more often than not, the bribe could not hold up to honor or friendship. However modern times have proved that a sum of any decent amount can and will buy out a friendship. The problem with money is that it is definite only at that instant. Buying something is instant. The item is bought for its worth and, much like cars from sleazy salesmen, its value will decrease over time.

Sex is the same way. Back then, sex happened inside marriage and was condoned by the church. The young couple get married, have children, and grow old with each other. Now, sex happens at any instant (instant here is metaphorical, much like God's creation of the world) and for any number of purposes: love, conception, money, or persuasion. At that instant, it is the most definitive thing. People fade in and out of death, but, well, you get the picture. The problem with sex is the same as with money: over time its value fades. The love dies, the baby is born, the money spent, or the purpose for persuasion is gone.

Ben Franklin, yeah, he's a smart guy. He just forgot about the future, but I guess I can't blame him. The new term? Nothing is certain in life but death and taxes, and nothing is certain right now but sex and money. Now that I think about it though, dear Ben may not go for that kind of thing.